


Alien Ghosts and Being (Totally) Delirious

by pcctheant



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alien Ghosts, Alternate Universe - College/University, Based off a real events, Betrayal, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Definitely not on drugs, Fluff, I'm Bad At Tagging, It's not what this is about tho, Just sleep deprived, Keith is also a mess, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, Lance is Tired, M/M, Modern AU, Secret Relationship, Sleep Deprivation, Study Date, They're both weird, but a lesser mess, mehhhh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-14
Updated: 2018-11-14
Packaged: 2019-08-23 17:03:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16622900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pcctheant/pseuds/pcctheant
Summary: Lance is really sleep deprived. That doesn't stop him from studying with his boyfriend. Nothing can stop him from studying with Keith. Not even the lack of popcorn in his pantry.In other words: Lance is tired. Keith is frustrated. Plants can do whatever the heck they want except for move around. Dolphins might be homophobic. Alien ghosts exist.





	Alien Ghosts and Being (Totally) Delirious

**Author's Note:**

> This was actually based off of me being sleep deprived at a competition. My partner was not happy. It was really fun though. We did terribly. Being sleep deprived is very bad. It's also like being drunk. Except I've never been drunk. It has now been proven that alcohol is not needed to be drunk. Now my friends come to me whenever they need to check how sleep deprived they are. If you are ever sleep deprived eat some food. It works. It will also make you moan in public so be aware of that.

Lance was tired. Not in a depressed way. He was tired in a physical way. He had spent way too many nights staying up late studying. Was it healthy? No. Did he care? No. At this rate, he was probably ending up like his boyfriend. Irritable and grumpy. Except Keith can pull the look off. Lance, on the other hand, can’t. The Cuban boy was prepared to collapse. There was only one problem. One single obstacle that forced him to keep going. Well. It wasn’t an obstacle. It was motivation. It was a date. A date with his boyfriend. A date with his very attractive boyfriend. His very attractive boyfriend named Keith. Yup. That’s his name. Right? Right.

Obviously, Lance was not in a very stable state of mind. Honestly, it was really amusing to Lance. It was like he was floating but not in a good way. More like a floating because you don’t know what you’re doing way. It was very complicated. Very very complicated. Very very very complicated. Look at those plants. Those are nice plants. Really nice plants. Maybe they grew tomatoes here. Tomatoes are good. Really good. Pretty tasty.

Lance was hungry. He had not had lunch. That was not good in combination with his sleep deprivation. It was still funny though. Really funny. Was being sleep deprived always this repetitive? Or was that just his poor vocabulary shining through? Probably both. Were other people like this when they were sleep deprived. Maybe he was delirious. Probably. Or maybe not. Was this what it felt like to be drunk and still know what you’re doing? Maybe that’s why being drunk is so much fun. Those plants though. Man. Those plants are great. They’re just chilling there. They don’t care what the world thinks. They just want to sit in soil and soak up the sun. Lance wishes he were a plant. 

Actually, Lance wished that he was a dolphin. That way he could be bisexual and not be judged. Unless other dolphins were homophobic. Were they? At least he would be able to move around. If he was a plant he wouldn’t be able to do that. Wait. If he was a plant how would he know that other things had the ability to move? PLANTS DON’T HAVE EYES. Does that mean that they’re officially blind? Why do people say blind as a mole? Why can’t they say blind as a plant? Where was he going?

After a few minutes of running around in circles, literally, Lance finally remembered where he was supposed to be heading. Keith’s house. Keith who is his boyfriend. Yup. Boyfriend. He’s really lucky. Why? He didn’t know. Why was he going to Keith’s house? Nope. Wait. He does know. A round of applause, please. He was going to Keith’s house for a study date. They were going to study for astronomy, and Lance was going to giggle a lot. Why? Because he’s delirious. Probably. Definitely. Maybe??

“Lance!” Keith popped out of the door and greeted him with a smile. Heh. Popped. Popcorn. Popcorn is great. Lance wanted popcorn now. Microwave popcorn. His family hasn’t bought that in years. Lance was clearly hungry. What was Keith saying right now? Did Keith have any popcorn? “Keith,” Lance groaned. “Yes?” He replied. “Food,” Lance was sure that Keith would get the idea. “Not right now Lance. We have to study first.” Nope. Keith did not get the idea. Why was the world so cruel? Why? Cruel sounded a lot like gruel. Grueling. Gruesome. Pirate ship. Pirates were cool. Not really. They killed people. Killing people is bad. Really bad. Even if they did have weird peg legs.

“Lance, are you delirious? You’re kinda scaring me right now.” Keith was definitely worried. And scared. Very scared. Kinda scared. Scared-ish. Scared-ish? “I scare myself, Keef. It’s a fact of life. Facto life. Scaryyyyy. Ghosts. Space ghosts. Alien ghosts? Alien ghosts! ALIEN GHOSTS!” Lance was most definitely delirious. Maybe. Probably. “What?” A very reasonable response from Keith. “ALIEN GHOSTS, KEEF! THINK ABOUT IT! There are probably aliens out there! Then they die and become alien ghosts!” A more reasonable response from Lance. “Lance! Right now I need you to focus. We can’t have you playing around at the exam. You’re going to fail!” That was entirely unreasonable. Some might say irrational. “But alien ghosts, Keeeeeffff.” That’s right. Sometimes there were important things in life than astronomy exams. Like alien ghosts. “I don’t have time for this Lance!” Heartbreaking. All Lance wanted was food and sleep. And alien ghosts. Lots of alien ghosts. All the alien ghosts. All of them! 

“Lance?”

“Yes, Keef? My Keef. My dear wonderful Keef. Keef the man. Keef the person. Keef the very real and not at all a hallucination person. Keef the very strange person who thinks that I’m delirious.”

“What’s the formula for a sphere?”

“The radius cubed then divide by 3 and multiply by 4. Why don’t you know that? Heh. And you think I’m delirious. You’re probably delirious. I’m definitely not delirious.”

Sometimes Keith was oblivious. Really oblivious. And stupid. However, the biggest thing about Keith was that he was impulsive. Lance could calm him down whenever it was needed. Except for now. “Are you using the all caps key to capitalize your letters? Seriously? Lance! What the heck? Who does that? I just wanted you to type up some notes!” Here’s the thing, Lance was tired. Keith had no say in how Lance capitalized his letters. “Lance! Are you even listening? Hello?” Lance was not listening. He was currently trying to remember Taylor Swift lyrics. Sorry, Keith. Lance can’t come to the phone right now. Why? Because he’s dead. Not really. Lance was not dead.

Lance was probably dead. Maybe. Keith had probably killed him. Not that Lance was against it. Lance just thought that if he died it would be better if it wasn’t from his boyfriend. Is that too much to ask? You know what wasn’t too much to ask? Fritos. Not the nasty original ones, but the chili cheese ones. Those were good. Keith always had those, but he never knew where he bought them. Why would Keith betray him like that? Was he not allowed to know the location of the sacred Fritos? It hurt. Just like the betrayal that Ceasar felt when Brutus stabbed him. Et tu Brute? Lance wanted to cry now, but he didn’t because Lance was a man. It didn’t matter whether or not he was delirious. Unless he was actually a girl who is delirious and thinks she’s a man.

That reminded him of Twelfth Night. Everyone’s favorite cross-dressing Shakespeare play. Hilarious. Very hilarious. “Tis very amusing.” That was a very true statement. “Um. Lance?” That seemed like a very true question. “Yes, Keef. Strange Keef. Oh my dear Keef, will you be the Orsino to my Viola? Not the instrument. Like Cesario. Good old Cesario. So sad that he didn’t actually exist.” Tis very strange. “Lance?” Tis very very strange. “LANCE?” Keith has captured his attention. “Yes? Tis what time? Tis. Tis. Tsk. Tsk. Tis. Tis when shall we eat? Tis when shall we die? Tis when should I use tis?”

Ok. Maybe, just maybe, he was delirious. In Lance’s defense when you’re delirious it’s a bit hard to recognize that you're delirious. What would you know? Have you ever been delirious? Don’t answer that. Lance knew the answer. Lance was very smart. Definitely. That was obviously the truth. No lies here. None. At all. Ha. The answer was ,obviously, yes. Lance knew that because he was smart. “You need sleep.” No. No, Lance did not need sleep. Thanks for the concern Keef, but Lance did not need sleep. None. Nope. Nada. Nothing. No sleep.

That was Lance a few seconds before Keith forced him into bed. Not in that way! Pervert. He just needed to lay down and not feel like he was going to collapse for a moment. Lance was perfectly fine. Just because he started saying ‘tis’ a lot doesn’t mean he’s delirious. You can’t prove anything! You have no evidence! You can’t call the police! Yup. You definitely can’t call the police. Not after Lance cut the imaginary phone wire! Cue the evil laughter! Wait. Where was the evil laughter? Keith. Please. Keith. There needs to be evil laughter. Keith? KEITH? WHERE’S THE EVIL LAUGHTER?

One minute later, Lance was asleep and Keith was calling his parents to come pick Lance up. The joke was on Keith though because Keith had to have a whole awkward conversation about being Lance’s boyfriend. Keith also had to pretend that he knew what Lance’s family was saying when they talked in Spanish. Ha. Take that Keith. This is what you get for not eavesdropping on Lance’s conversations. This is what you get for not giving Lance food. Even if you are his caring boyfriend. Even if your name is Keith. Unless you’re lying which is totally possible. It’s always possible. Except for lying about lying. That’s too complicated for Lance’s poor floaty brain.


End file.
